I’m that girl who got mad at the parking officials today for LSU allotting student parking to career fair guests. I’m also that girl who went upstairs and downstairs in the library to print today, getting frustrated because no one wanted to help.
I’m also that girl who complained about LSU and parking and printing and everything in between to her friends, spreading hatred and frustration.
Blame it on the new “I need to speak to a manager” haircut, as some people like to joke, I was a me I don’t very much like today.
And you know, I’m probably not the only one who’s annoyed. It’s only 4 weeks into the Fall semester, and my patience is tearing at the seams like the right strap of my $9 backpack from Walmart.
Blame it on whatever. Senior-itis. Commuter-itis. Itis-itis. We’re all frustrated, tired and thinking the world owes us all something. We’re all late for class or work and giving up on the week and it’s only Tuesday.
Finally, on the drive home today, I let myself think positively. I let myself laugh at the “struggles” of today and how I reacted to them all. I let myself realize how silly and small these problems were. And I realized that it’s so easy to let one little thing be the domino that sends your entire day falling over, one issue after the other.
Of course, it’s easy to look back at my day and breathe a little on the way home, listening to my Christian jams, volume up loud, singing lyrics. Up until someone cuts me off and I become that angry person I don’t like again.
Yes, I know, it’s comical. Little me, driving home, singing Hillsong Worship songs at the top of my lungs and instantly waving my hands at someone who didn’t use a blinker.
But all joking aside — I don’t feel good about myself for any of it. It’s easy to forget another human being is driving that car and is probably just as exhausted from the day as I am. It’s easy to forget to put myself in other people’s shoes when I get so deeply invested in my own silly mishaps.
I encourage you to sit back and think, after a day that just doesn’t go right, doesn’t go how you expect, just think. Ask yourself the question I neglect every time any little thing goes wrong.
What is God trying to tell me right now?
I think today, for me, was a reminder to have patience. Stop getting so overwhelmed over the smallest things. Let my perspective conquer the negativity that stems from one thing that doesn’t go how I wanted it to.
Of course, we can’t always hear what God is trying to say, but that’s because he probably already said it. Which is why this verse kept popping up in my mind on the way home:
My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness. Therefore, ridding yourselves of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevalent, humbly receive the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.
– James 1:19-21
No, I didn’t have the entire verse memorized. My brain kept repeating: “be slow to anger.” And I realized how quickly anger forms, how easy it is to give into the temptation of gossip, slander, anger and annoyance at the smallest inconveniences.
I guess this is where I am now, trying to “humbly receive the implanted word.” Sometimes, we gotta step back and check ourselves, and today I am ashamed of my words, actions and thoughts.
Evil really is “prevalent” in this world we live in, and sometimes it is too easy to dwell in it, spread it to others through words and actions.
So tonight I am going to give myself a challenge for the rest of the week. Instead of being quick to anger, I’ll be quick to listen. Listen to those around me but more importantly listen to what God might want me to hear in those instances where things don’t work out.
Tomorrow, I’ll be slow to speak. I’ll think about my words and actions before I blurt things out of anger. Think about what the other person may be going through before dwelling on my own negative thoughts. Tomorrow, I will spread positivity and love.
I apologize to everyone I blamed for how today went, when I should have blamed my own perspective.
I challenge myself, I challenge you: Take a step back, listen, realize your mistakes and start over better.